a burnt red wood.

Like a hundred foot redwood that you have takin a hatchet to. scraping the bark so that it entwined in to thread… Ive had a pounded headake for the past three days now and i don’t know how to make out all of these confessions the I’m spilling out to myself for the past 72 hours. Chance, change that i need to make for myself for my own because the way i have been living, treating people and handling situations through out my life have been wrong, and I’m the first one now to say that to myself. Although i realize i am not as important of a individual for some one to want to take the time to read my late night online blogs right now i feel i need to clear my self, even if it is to a machine that i am typing on. I have pushed away every good thing in my life up to this point because ive always been to heard headed, to big headed to what ever. I catch myself in a twister of thought everyday and i cant get out, I’m stuck sometimes. and its hard to realize who i am right now. Hard to cope with who i was in the past, and everything Ive Gavin up… because i was to scare or to confident… . I’m seeing now who i need to become and the MANI need to turn into and become… I’ve let a lot of people down in this life so far, change. Change is needed and is not always bad, people dont always realize that because they get to comfortable with the norm. Its hard to look in the mirror and not see your self… Not see who you want to be and not see who your supposed to be, Not knowing who to trust even if yourself is one of those people. We all need to make changes, I need to make changes, for one in my life.